SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL
There’s a book sitting in front of you.
In it contains all the bad things people have said about you behind your back, would you open it?
Hell fucking yeah
Read it so you can find out what people really have to say about you and how you can change your character to be a better person.
read it so you know what order to murder people in
two kinds of people
Okay I know the time frame totally doesn’t work but- Imagine Draco Malfoy getting all puffed up and arrogant and starting to say “I don’t think my father-” and Harry slyly interjecting “-the inventor of toaster strudel-” “-would be too happy to-” and then stopping in confusion when Harry, Hermione, and every other Muggleborn in earshot start practically crying with laughter.